Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Reasons why my life is awkward.

These were surprisingly fun for me to think of, so I hope you enjoy learning about my life in unnecessary detail!

  • I routinely mishear song lyrics, so I usually just jokingly sing nonsense rather than risk actually trying and being wrong.
  • I am extremely uncomfortable sitting cross-legged. I feel like literally the entire world loves sitting like this, but it hurts my feet, and I just don't really bend that way.
  • My face has the lovely habit of turning red as a result of any array of emotions, not just embarrassment.
  • One time after getting my eyes dilated, I had to fill out paperwork and didn't want to admit that the text looked like a grey swirly blob, so I spent ten minutes holding it at varying distances from my face and squinting until I could decipher everything.
  • I once owned two tiny African dwarf frogs that ended up mating. I thought they were just hugging.
  • I have a queen-sized quilt on my full-sized bed. This one sounds stupid but it is so awkward. There is constantly way to much fabric around my face. But I stubbornly endure because the quilt is from Anthropologie and I love it.
  • To this day, I do not know the proper way to hold a dog or cat. Pets usually like me until I try to pick them up. :(
  • I'm extremely self-conscious about my toes. I don't even know why, because objectively, they're pretty normal, but please do not look at them!
  • I'm one of those drivers that simultaneously lurches forward and waves people through at a stop sign.
  • Sometimes I spend so long thinking of a witty response that it creates an uncomfortable silence, and the other person usually leaves.
  • I've twisted/injured my ankles doing completely lame things: falling off a curb, jumping on a trampoline (that one's slightly more exciting), and most recently, accidentally kicking the coffee table at a wrong angle.
  • I've broken my wrist because I fell during marching practice. In my defense, we were marching backwards at an absurdly fast tempo.
  • After I broke my wrist, I wanted a white cast, but the doctor accidentally gave me glow-in-the-dark. Cue teenage self-conscious shame spiral.
  • I consistently forget to return the question when someone asks, "How are you?"

Photos like this exist. I am a giraffe.
That's my friend Sarah, and she looks especially beautiful next who-knows-what-face-I'm-making.

I could probably think of more, but you get the picture! 
(you also get a literal picture...puns...)


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